Tuesday, November 27, 2012


Enjoy this apocalyptic damnation


One thing is sure it is not baroque Venetian music, but it is stronger and more powerful than anything the underlings from Seattle have ever produced in the line of hard metal grunge Scheisse. This is Käse and that kind of cheese fest you cannot find anywhere else or hardly. That’s the first impression after a first hearing.

What about a second hearing with a little bit more attention to the details, sir!

With great pleasure, Herr Kaiser, mein Herr. With great pleasure.

It all starts with church bells and a sermon about the beast that is inside us and is eating us up, that beast has a name, a human name, but you need finesse and intelligence to read that name, and that name is 666, the beast, in other words Lust, a threesome fallatio in other words. Lust is the Beast within you, the beast that wants to consume you. Prosit, my friends. It is said the beast will just leave behind and beyond its repast two meat balls in the shape of bollocks, or is it buttocks, for you to suck on in your free time.

Then you can stand up and get up on the stool and reach out the arms of the cross and just start enjoying your own crucifixion and all the torturing you will have to go through in the hands of God and under the fingers of Lust, hanging from the arms of a Saint Andrew’s cross in the middle of the village square with dogs and kids authorized to do anything nasty they want and first of all rip off your clothes to be able to crush their cigarettes on your flesh, to use their lighters to burn you skin and you hairs, in one word to enjoy themselves at your yelling shouting howling expense.

“Fikk Dich Mit Fire” is a sublime frenetic beating up of your meat with fire up your dark door and fire in your hand on the front handle. What happens is exactly what is written in the title. You are fucked front and back with fire. And for you to hear the hammers driving the nails into your hands and feet into the cross the text is repetitive and groups of four of any repeated phrases are essential to give you the taste of that cross and the hammer can of course slip from the head of the nail to some of your bones, but who cares since you will never come back when you are finally gone. You will never need your bones any more. You will have been saved into becoming a pure spirit, and you can even think you are a soul if your god is a soul-making god.

“The “Kaiser Von Shizer” has little to say. He does not speak with words but with the big bertha of his farting mouth and this time he rejects salvoes of fire for you to enjoy how he is abusing you sexually in all holes and conduits, into the ears, the eyes, and so many other apertures. And no resistance is possible against this Emperor. You can always get your countertenor voice of a castrato , or maybe your soprano voice of a doppelganger, floating and flying around in the background. That will not stop the Kaiser who has decided to turn you into a motherfucker grilled hamburger.

But liberation comes with “Disko Fire Scheiss Messiah”. The Lord liberates you from your bondage. You can finally get free and enjoy the freedom of divine grace. But before that salvation you have to go through the epiphany of sulphur and fire, of complete elimination, or is it satisfaction, of all your instincts and impulses, and the body along with them since the body is the carrier of the orgasmic message, and everything material in that body made of dust (dust to dust), earth (man from clay, Adam from Adamah) and of course Scheisse (the perfect fertilizer of all times). But here we reach the total contradiction that this Scheisse is also the messiah himself. Is the Messiah made of Scheisse, or is he the one who brings Scheisse to our Last Supper, or is he the one who destroys all that Scheisse with archangelic fire? Who cares! We are floating in an ocean of Scheisse and we are back to the first verse of Genesis: total darkness and nothing but an immense expanse of Scheisse in that darkness with God and his spirit more or less flying or roaming over it.

The next track, “Blut! Zex! Fire!” should bring you to the final truth that nothing exists, that everything is delusional and everyone is delirious. In fact I just wonder if this piece is not advertising for Zex, that Zex that brings fire into your nerves and tripes and flesh, the fire of exhilaration and derangement and pure blissful pleasure. This music in a way is so onanistic and so masturbational. You have to let your own wild desires flow and fly and give them a hand if you can or even ten fingers of Schnapps to even amplify the delirium tremens of the passion, of the eruption that makes you ejaculate the name of the lord in vain, not really by the way, since your ejaculating the name of the lord enables you to get to the topmost bliss on earth: cumming over and over again and with no blue pill of any kind, just that music that drowns you in a sea of fiery cum.

“Burning Bush” comes after this sexual high. Then God can speak to you via a burning bush and you can hear the whimpering pleasure of the fornicating mother copulators in the back, and that will never be enough. So an extra track will lead you even deeper into that tsunami of hormonal fluids.

Welcome to the “Scheissway To Hell” and there you can at last just try to recuperate after your multiple orgasms waiting for and expecting the next stage. Along that way to hell you will hear a few church bells again to remind you of the simple fact that after orgasm comes communion, after enjoying the body of your Christ or you Mary Magdalena, or both, you have to receive the body of the Lord to prepare you for purification. Don’t be afraid of the monstrous monstrosities that howl around you. They are the minions of God and the real face of guardian angels. You are in good hands and in good bleeding teeth and you will be like all new in a minute to be purified into serving again for the glory of your Lord and God, Herr Kaiser, Maestro Penis, Doctor Phallus and all their plugs and sockets.

“And we shall Purify” has come and with it the great change and the seventh generation, the apocalypse of your sorry life into the purity of the next life. You have to be sanctified, via crucifixion and then with the help of a demonizer that will purify you. That’s the great mystery of this Gospel: the saviour is the one who can demonize you. There is no purification but beyond demonization and crucifixion; And beyond you will reach obsessive destruction into resurrection, and a few church bells of course. You will be sadistic with your personal  masochism and masochistic with your own sadism and you will never know how far you can go because there will always be one more step on the way, one more stage on the road one more station on the track.

Now it is time for the revelation of the “10th Circle” which is the sermon of the beginning but this time, you have understood the beast inside each one of us, lust. We have to let it come out onto ourselves and onto everyone else around us for the orgasmic epiphany to redeem our souls and our bodies into inflammatory sermons that will burn us down into a pile of ashes, sanctified by your end and transmuted into eternal death on earth and in a virtual body of no consistence at all. Can you hear the singing whiners in the back?

And Handel is waiting for you with his “Hallelujah” but it is not longer a welcoming song to heaven but to Hell and it is more Hellalujah than a nothing else though the musicians of German tradition have avoided the an easy Heili Heilo Heillalujah that everyone was expecting but you can’t have the devil and God together, so they kept the devil and got rid of all the saints who like final solutions too much. And obviously the closing word is “The power of God has freed us.”

So we can get onto the last instrumental piece, “Purity”, that sounds in a way like some cosmic interstellar galactic mission beyond the material reality of our small tellurianesque universe. We are reaching beyond the Space Odyssey of old and we are fully engaged in the Viagratic blue pill and amphetaminic red pill saga. We can go back onto the Argo of our senses, the Titanic of our impulses, the Queen Elizabeth of our passions and meet with a new iceberg to get down into the erotic hole of the ocean and directly into the underground hell of fire.


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